and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
