i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
