honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
