This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
