Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
