Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
