I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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