Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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