He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize