butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I could make wine with my vomit
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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