ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
