Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
