Im at strip club and am horny
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize