Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
