We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
operation have a gay friend backfired
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
