Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
