What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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