Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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