Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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