My friends, they love my intelligence
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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