how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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