I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
