Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
