CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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