One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
