Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize