i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Michael Bay diarrhea
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
