We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize