I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
