so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
