So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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