she kept yelling 'call me bella'
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
