Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
