Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
