"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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