It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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