If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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