3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
