My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
