You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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