The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
