Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
