I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
