Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
tell me about the eggs
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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