just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize