Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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