Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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