susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
