You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
