That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
