dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
