Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
