You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
