paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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