Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We left the knife in your bed.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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