i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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