I CAN MOONWALK!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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