And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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