he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
