Soap is not a condiment
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
