do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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