i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
