hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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